Parents can help re-establish their child's sense of safety, reassurance, self esteem and understanding.

• Model calm and control. Children take their emotional cues from the significant adults in their lives. Try to avoid appearing anxious or frightened. This doesn't mean you should not pay attention to and deal with your own feelings but that children benefit from seeing their parents coping effectively with difficult feelings.
  
  
• Reassure children they are safe and (if true) so are other important adults in their lives. Depending on the situation, point out things which help ensure their immediate safety and those around them.
  
  
• Remind them that trustworthy people are in charge. Explain that government emergency workers, police, firefighters, doctors, nurses and the armed forces are helping people who are hurt and are working to ensure that no further tragedies occur.
  
  
• Let children know it is okay to feel upset. Explain that all feelings are okay when a tragedy like this occurs. Let children talk about their feelings and help put them into perspective. Even anger is okay but children may need help and patience from adults to help them express these feelings appropriately.
  
  
• Observe children's emotional state. Depending on their age, children may not express their concerns verbally. Changes in behaviour, appetite and sleep patterns can also indicate a child's level of grief, anxiety or discomfort. Children will express their emotions differently. There is no right or wrong way to feel or express grief.
  
  
• Look for children at greater risk. Children who have had a past traumatic experience or personal loss, suffer from depression or other mental illness, or with special needs may be at greater risk than others for severe reactions. Seek the help of professionals if you are at all concerned.
  
  
• Tell children the truth. Don't try to pretend the event has not occurred or it is not serious. Children are smart—they will be more worried if they think you are too afraid to tell them what is happening.
  
  
• Stick to the facts. Don't embellish or speculate about what has happened and what might happen. Don't dwell on the scale or scope of the tragedy, particularly with young children. Remember that children have an active imagination and that telling them factually and honestly about what has happened is often a good way to reduce the likelihood that they will imagine the worst.
  
  
• Keep your explanations developmentally appropriate. Early primary school children need brief, simple information which should be balanced with reassurances that the daily structures of their lives will not change. Upper primary and early middle school children will be more vocal in asking questions about whether they truly are safe and what is being done at their school. They may need help separating reality from fantasy. Upper middle school and high school students will have strong and varying opinions about the causes of violence and threats to safety in schools and society. They will share concrete suggestions about how to make school safer and how to prevent tragedies in society. They will be more committed to doing something to help the victims and affected community. For all children, encourage them to talk through their thoughts and feelings. Be a good listener!
  
  
• Monitor your own stress level. Don't ignore your own feelings of anxiety, grief and anger. Talking with friends, family, religious leaders and professional counsellors can help. It is okay to let your children know you are sad but that you believe things will get better. You will be better able to support your children if you can express your own emotions in a productive manner. Get enough sleep, food and exercise.
  
  

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